A Big Yellow Vest

Bananas. Natures' energy bar. Every walk begins with a banana and a shot of strong coffee, usually taken in the car or mooching around wherever I've happened to park. I've tried carrying the fruity wonder up hills in a variety of containers but that just feels like wasted space and failure to put it in any kind of container is just asking for trouble. The BananaGuard was never an option btw. Carrying something shaped like a big plastic cock just doesn't appeal.

By far the best solution that I've found is to turn the fruit into cake. The recipe below was shamelessly nicked from Andi Peters, former childrens' TV presenter and a bit of a whizz in the kitchen. All credit goes to him, beautiful man that he is :o)

Ingredients

• 125 g butter, plus extra for greasing
• 150 g light soft brown sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 3 very ripe bananas, mashed
• 250 g plain flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp grated nutmeg

To serve

• peanut butter
• whipped cream 

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/gas 4 (160C/gas 3 for fan-forced ovens). Grease a 1kg-capacity loaf tin and line the base with baking parchment.

2. Beat the butter and sugar together until fluffy and pale in colour.

3. Beat in the eggs, a little at a time, beating well after each addition.

4. Add the bananas to this mixture.

5. Sift the dry ingredients together with a pinch of salt and then fold gently into the banana mixture. (It is important to fold the dry ingredients in gently until just incorporated, rather than simply stirring.)

6. Transfer the mixture into the prepared tin and bake for 50-60 minutes or until a skewer placed in the middle of the cake comes out clean and dry.

7. Transfer to a wire rack to cool. (Resist cutting it for 30 minutes or it might crumble.)

  

It'll keep for a few days but I've found that it rarely makes it past day 2 :o)

Comes out looking a bit like this:

Goes down a bit like this:

 JC Seal of Approval

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Spread a bit of peanut butter on for some extra calories. And in case you're wondering, the title of this piece comes via The Singing Kettle and their cover of Bananas are the Best.

Bananas, bananas, bananas are the best

A soft squidgey middle in a big yella vest

Today or manyana, ah'll be sayin ‘Can ah,

Can ah have a ba-na-na?’

As hiking songs go, there are worse.

The Horses Mares Tail

A long weekend in Lochaber saw us in a variety of picturesque places and at least two well-known eateries, surrounded by mountains and lochans and stuff. Of course, the weather helped; 19C or thereabouts and just a tad unseasonal, given that we're still in March. Still, as I always say, Scotland in the sunshine is a sight to behold.

Speaking of which; Me? In outdoors gear? Ootside a pub? In one of the most famous mountain locations in the Universe? Too much sun, that's what it was :o)

 Obviously Photoshopped. It's the only explanation.

 The Real Food Cafe

Award winning Carrot Cake

Haste Ye Back, indeed.

Planning Application: FAIL

Fife Council continue to show an admirable degree of common sense. It's a small victory but a victory nonetheless.

Garbh Choire Refuge

I'm no' a great fan of bothies but it's good to know they're there if the shit hits the fan. The wee howff in Garbh Choire is in need of renovation and its' continued existence is in doubt. Neil Reid and Kenny Freeman have put forward a case for its' retention. Interested parties should nip over and have a read.

Clicky link.

The Horns Of The Buffalo

I found the graphic (below) while I was surfing for information on Little Raith Windfarm which I'd heard had been given the go-ahead. Sure enough, there are 9 100m+ turbines going up on the land between the A92 and the Mossmorran Petrochemical Plant. "What's the big deal?", I hear you cry. Well, for one thing, the visual impact will be extreme for anyone living nearby. Mossmorran, despite being a large industrial site, is at least partially hidden by surrounding land. And the turbines will be close to Loch Gelly, the Loch of the Shining Waters, an important habitat for wildfowl, both resident and migratory.

Little Raith is shown in Blue, at the bottom of the graphic. Far more worrying, and I had to double-check this, is the Red area over in the top left. It lies within the bounds of The Lomond Hills Regional Park, or "The Meedies" as it's known locally and is the subject of a planning application for an "industrial-sized" wind factory. I can't help but feel that these fuckers are either taking the piss or simply trying to deflect attention away from other sites. (2 large turbines recently bypassed the planning process altogether via some deadline-related loophole).

Fife Council Planning Dept are currently "inundated" with applications and at least one Councillor has called for a halt until they can work out a coherent strategy. Local opposition is strong and growing stronger which is great to see but these things are easily missed if you're not actively looking.

Those light blue bits btw, are areas marked for housing development. That's houses that no one around here can afford or even wants. More greenfield concreted over and trees and hedgerows ripped up. The Horns of the Buffalo are closing in and the views that I currently enjoy will disappear one day soon.

Photographic Memory

The woman in the picture below was 70 years old when it was taken. She still worked and walked 7 or 8 miles a day, every day, whatever the weather. She'd travelled over 50 miles (2 buses) to arrive at the appointed place and time, dressed for the occasion.

That was 3 and a half years ago. Now she has no memory of that day or indeed many other days. Almost every scrap of her independence is gone. Alzheimer's is a proper cunt of a disease.

Update:

Bless you all for your kind words. I think the worst part of it is that she is occasionally aware of what's happening. Physically, she's hale and hearty but her short-term memory is almost non-existent. Day to day stuff that we take for granted is impossible for her. She literally couldn't boil an egg and this is a woman once famed for her home-baking. That's how we knew she was going downhill; the Tablet and Caramel Shortbread, once highly prized, started to be discretely binned. Tea and toast is about all she can manage these days.

In a way, I'm kind of lucky. I've never been terribly close to my mum so I'm able to step back a wee bit and be a bit more pragmatic about things. It's still hard work but the support we've had from East Lothian Council and the local NHS folk has been astounding.  Thank fuck for the professionals. And my Mrs, who is, as always, my rock.

Lucky Bag

The Gods of Fortune and Favour have smiled upon both Al and Phil.

Gentlemen, I have a pair of Grimlocs here with your names on them. If you send your contact details to *redacted*, they will be dispatched post haste.

You'll never lose your hat/gloves/enamel mug again.

Munky Business

It's not often that I'm at the forefront of something new and exciting but there's a first time for everything.

Back in October, last year, I got talking to Sean over on Outdoorsmagic about custom inner options for the  Hex 3. After a wee bit of persuasion, I got him to run me up a "winterised" OookNest (half-nest); bomber waterproof floor, solid panels with mesh higher up. In mid November, a neat little package arrived.

Truth is, I was bowled over by the sheer quality of the finished product; easily on a par with the big boys of the tent world. Sean had even added a couple of storage pockets, spare bungee cord and packed the lot up in a neat OookWorks stuff sack.

That's mine, that is. Image copyright OookWorks 2010

Munky Business

For a bespoke item, it really is seriously impressive. You can, of course, source these things from the U.S but I'd rather support somebody here in the UK. Well, Cumbria and that's practically Scotland :o)

So if you've got a shelter that needs a bit more porch space or whatever, get in touch with Sean to see what he can come up with.

I'm no' 100% certain that I was the first OookWorks customer but there's no doubt in my mind that there'll be many more in the future.

Maxpedition Grimloc D-Rings

I was rooting around the other day and came across some photies in a folder marked "Blogging". There's a bunch of stuff in there, all of it meant to illustrate blog posts that fell by the way side and never saw the light of day. There's no text with them so I can only guess at what might have been.

The Grimlocs are a case in point. As a habitual baseball cap wearer, I've been using clips of some description or another for a number of years. A wee clip thru' the D-ring on a shoulder strap is a handy way of securing a hat, gloves or whatever.

 Open and shut

Dammit, they're good for all sorts of things. I've got a decent selection of carabiners both large and small but it's the Grimloc that's been attached to my pack for a while now. Dead easy to use with gloved or cold hands and they weigh next to nothing. Reasonably cheap too; a pack of 4 can be had for less than a tenner.

There are cheaper alternatives, of course but these are "mil-spec" and that makes them way cooler than anything else :o)

I like them so much, in fact, that I've got two to give away. Simply leave a comment below and your name will be entered into a draw which will take place a week from now. No names or email addresses will be used for anything other than this glorified lucky dip. This blog is strictly a commercial free zone :o)

 Update 12/6/11: "Competition" (such as it is) closes at 3pm today.

Feersum Endjinn

I can't remember exactly when I first saw a wind farm in Scotland but I think it was about 5 or 6 years ago, on the road to Oban. Now, if I want to see one, I just need to drive about a mile and turn left. Go a wee bit further and there's another one. In the next year or so, I'll be able to see one from my front garden.

The proliferation of these things continues apace. Depending on which side of the fence you sit on, it's either driven by an overwhelming desire to save the planet or pure, old-fashioned greed. Personally, I think it's the latter. There's a huge amount of money to be made from "renewables" and there's folk out there grabbing it with both hands, aided and abetted by our (Scottish) government.

The public at large are blissfully unaware of (or perhaps don't care about) what's happening. Maybe if they planted a couple of turbines in Holyrood Park or Princes Street Gardens, folk would feel differently? While they're at it, they can change the sign at the border: "Welcome to Scotland The Klondyke"

It angers me. And I'm not the only one. Alan Sloman has done a power (no pun intended) of work and you can read about it here. It compelled me to get off my arse and do something. I hope it gets others to do the same.

Burn Motherfucker, burn....

Update: Additional Links

John Muir Trust - Info on the Campaign Page

Mountaineering Council of Scotland - Access and Conservation

Finisterre Humboldt Mk II

As it's been a while, I thought my first post of 2011 should be gear related. And what a fine bit of gear it is; the Finisterre Humboldt Mk II.

Some folk will remember Finisterre from a couple of years back when they produced something that looked like a Paramo Velez, was made from the same material as a Paramo Velez, but was cut a tad more on the "athletic" side than anything Paramo produce.

Justifiably, they flew off the racks and quickly sold out. Happily, they're back, albeit in a slightly different form. Ah. Just checked and they're sold out again. Sorry about that. The Analogy fabric is gone and what we have now is something that looks like the bastard offspring of an unholy union between Buffalo and Paramo.

The similarity to the Velez is obvious but there are a few welcome refinements: the cut is oh-so much slimmer which suits me and my Racing Snake frame.

 Large Humboldt laid atop Large Velez Adventure for comparison

The sleeves are nice and long, something that Paramo never managed. The Humboldt has no internal, and frankly useless, handwarmer pocket. The hood volume adjuster runs up both sides of the head and works well.

The only niggle so far is the adjustable cuffs. I didn't know they made Velcro that wide.

 World's Widest Strip of Velcro

I've been kicking about in it and it's been great but I'll try and give it a proper outing soon.

The Last Post

It's been a quick year. Highlight was getting married to my beautiful Mrs, closely followed by the birth of our beautiful grandson.

Very little outdoor stuff happened. Quietest year in the last decade, in fact. Two or three bits of kit bought and a whole lot more sold on. I've little or no interest in such things right now but that may well change in the coming year. We'll see.

But this year is nearly done and there's a new one waiting just over the horizon.

I've no idea what it'll bring but I hope it's a happy one, not just for me and mine but also for you and yours.

So wherever you are, have a safe, and prosperous, 2011.

No more excuses

Well, they weren't really excuses, more like stuff that I knew was coming and would have to dedicate time to. In all honesty, I'm the King of Procrastination, I don't actually need an excuse. And the motivation to get out on the hills wasn't really there although I did at least get some outdoorsy stuff done, just nothing worth writing home about.

So we had the wedding and, as stated previously, we couldn't have asked for a better day. Just marvellous.

Next, was the detrioration of the sight in my left eye. The visit to the opticians in April had led to only one conclusion; no prescription on Earth was going to fix it and surgery was required. Now, Eye and Surgery are two words that should never be uttered in the same sentence but it had to be done. I had no choice. Well, I did; I could go around half-blind.

In truth, it was making me miserable. Driving was a chore and work was just plain frustrating. And I'll blame it for me not wanting to get up a hill more often. You don't realise just how much you rely on your sight until you start to lose it. So, 3 days after my birthday, I went under the knife. Or micro-scalpel or whatever the hell they use. I was awake but couldn't see anything other than a very bright light. I did see the syringe that delivered the local anasthetic beforehand though. And that's every bit as rubbish as it sounds, btw.

It's made a huge difference tho'. I can actually function without glasses for the first time in years. And by function I mean I can get about without walking into anything. I still need spec's for the usual stuff but I wouldn't be completely fucked without them.

Now that I can actually see the hills again, I want to get back out on them as soon as.

The last thing that was stopping me getting away anywhere was the anticipated arrival of our first grandchild. I couldn't very well go gallavanting off when I might be called on at any moment for emergency dog-sitting duties.

But he turned up yesterday, all 8lbs 12oz of him. John Connor William McLean. If that's not the coolest name for a boy then I don't know what is.

Action Hero

I'll try to resist putting on an Austrian accent when I speak to him but I make no promises :o)

So aye, early September should see me back outside. I owe The Boy a walk and it's long overdue.

And may your days be good and long upon the Earth

I'd be lying if I said there were no pre-wedding jitters because there were. Not about the getting married bit, more the social side. See, I don't do crowds and I'm not known as a party animal. Then there was the whole stand up and make a speech routine. So aye, a degree of trepidation was felt.

But when my wife pointed out our mystery guest, I knew all would be well. There, providing overwatch from the high ground of the "cutting sponge"*, was Master Chief.


Sometimes it's the little things that mean the most and can turn a great day into a perfect one.

Magic o)

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

*Cutting Sponge - for lightweights that don't actually like fruit cake. I know. Fuckin' weirdos.

Possession is 9 Tenths....

Maybe I've been watching too much Supernatural but I'm starting to think that my car's been taken over by a demon. I feel like every time I decide I'm going to head for the hills, she acts up. It can be anything from a worrying squeak to a flat out refusal to start. This time she's, as I put it, "Vibrating like a motherfucker".

I may have to start referring to her as Christine rather than The Warthog.

Yesterday was moot anyhow; we had the wedding photographer comin' round mid-afternoon so the scope of any activity would've been somewhat limited.

No biggie. It was a case of "Assume the position." and be awesome for a couple of hours.

Mine's the Creme Egg one.

Plans are still being formulated in the meantime. Exploring Scottish Hill Tracks has come off the bookshelf and pages marked. And funds have been raised for the Vaude Power Lizard* via the sale of both the Laserlite and the Big Agnes SL1. Public transport options are also being taken into account :o)

* Shite name for a tent but it won't stop me having one.

Apologies for absence

Well, it's been a while. A whole 2 months since I last posted, even longer since I posted anything related to the outdoors.

Starting the year with a car in the garage, for the third year in a row, didn't help. Nothing like having no transport and a big bill to put the mockers on the fun times.

And then we had a death. Nobody that'll be missed to any great extent but it did start me thinking about shit that'd been boxed away for nigh on 4 decades. Still, I got to visit my mother in her own home for the first time in 20 years and have a nosey around the auld home toon. Nice to see the sea and fishing boats and stuff. Felt a bit weird but I'm sure it'll get easier as time goes on.

There's been some good stuff too; the Future Mrs D and I have set a date and will be wed in May. I can't really use this an excuse for not getting out as my beloved is doing all the organising. I just have to turn up, say a few words, dance a bit and that's it :o)

Later in the year, round about August-time, we'll become grandparents for the first time. I know what you're thinking; "But Kev, you're so young. How can this be?". Well, it's our eldest, 27 and married that is with child. Certainly bucking the trend for round here, where 30 year old grandmothers are not uncommon but there you go.

I think the biggest problem I have right now is work. I can't say anything here because they visit from time to time. Hello btw. But aye, come Friday, I'm so fucked off that I really can't be arsed doing anything very much.

All is not lost however; the Future Mrs D has offered to "chum" me up some hills. Wee ones at first and then some bigger stuff. And The Boy has suggested a 2, 3 or 4 nighter somewhere. A trek of sorts. I'm thinking maybe a bit of the West Highland Way. Or Blair Atholl to Aviemore. Or maybe head east from Spean Bridge.

Here, look at me making plans. Things are looking up :o)

Last one out....

Lights are off, doors are locked and there's no sign of life. The hoose is rigged for Silent Running. It must be Hogmanay :o)

Hope you all have a happy, healthy and prosperous 2010.

Awra best, people :o)

Bed now. Shhhhhh......

16 Candles

We joked he'd wake up with a full beard but there are no perceptible changes.

He's becoming a man but he'll always be The Boy. The best son a father could ever ask for.

OMM Name FAIL

OMG i m gay. At least, that's what I thought it said. The "gamy" is a bit unfortunate on its' own, never mind potential anagrams.

OMM-i-gamy. What were they thinking?

Piss-taking potential aside, its' yet another example of OMMs' modular approach to carrying stuff. I like it a lot. Regular readers may have noticed various bottles turning up in photies and a complete lack of tubes sprouting from packs.

Spot the tube? :o)

I dallied with hydration systems a while back and never really got on with them. All that drinking-on-the-go stuff wasn't for me. I like to stop, have a few sips and have a look aboot. And it's an excuse to get my breath back, if I'm being honest :o)

Anyway, nobody's gonnae convince me that a plastic bag and some tubing is cooler-looking than a Black Sigg Oval.

Lost and Found

I went for a quick walk on Sunday. Not far by any means but just far enough to remind me of what I'm missing by sitting on the sofa, smoking fags & staring at the telly.

The Author. In Serious Mode.

Aye, more of the same, please.