That's the question I've been asking myself. When did I go from being relieved that a plan fell through to being disappointed?
To be disappointed I must've initially been looking forward. Without realising, I was looking forward to a a night on a hill in shite weather with a bunch of folk I've never met before. I was looking forward to a night of sub-zero temp's, in the middle of nowhere, shooting the breeze with others of a like-mind.
When I packed my kit, there was an air of excitement and anticipation, not trepidation. When those plans were scuppered, my reaction was nothing like it would've been last year. The gear's still laid out, ready for the off rather than packed away and doomed to months of seeing no action at all.
My attitude has changed. This is good. This is almost an epiphany, in fact.